Will

As a member of a family I am exposed to the daily will of a group of humans, large and small.  Each person in my household – one I chose, three have my DNA – seems to have their own ideas about the way the kitchen should look or if broccoli is compulsory or what the day should offer or what music plays on the radio or if mommy should go to the gym!  Similarly at work, in community groups, church committees, classrooms, etc. every person has their own will. 

Dictionary.com defines the second form of will.

1.  the faculty of conscious and especially of deliberate action; the power of control the mind has over its own actions:  the freedom of the will

2.  power of choosing one’s own actions:  to have a strong or weak will

3.  the act or process of using or asserting one’s choice; volition:  My hands are obedient to my will.

 

I am pondering how to cultivate strength of will.  Knowing when to dig deep, to assert your choice and when to allow for openness, to listen and acquiesce to others and that life requires both.  I worry that life in my household is often so comfortable – meals are accommodating to everyone’s tastes, activities are scheduled for entertainment and joy of all – that when the will is called upon not for choosing a TV show but to face something unpleasant but necessary it may break down and fail. 

I am interested in the role our mind has in controlling our actions.  To put pressure on our own minds to do something is an internal experience.  Sleeping despite fear of the dark.  Eating a new food.  Allowing a messy game to be left for days scattered on the floor because kids “are still playing with it.” Pressing through a challenging exercise class.  Getting up on time even if bedtime didn’t come as early as needed.  Our mind must assert our choices over our physical state and our body must obey.  There is so much will required, what if we run out?  I know when I am tired my will runs out much faster.  

My hope is that I learn along with my family that we can be strong yet pleasant people who understand that life may sometimes be difficult and that we can control our actions even if they are challenging.  We can finish a necessary task even if we don’t want to.  We can walk away from an insult slung by a sibling instead of joining in a verbal assault that gets everyone banished to separate rooms.   

It seems a murky matter.  Over-assertion gets us in trouble, too.  Actions with no regard to their affect on others typically garner negative results.  We must consciously and deliberately stand up against a rule or situation we deem immoral or incorrect.  Will is used to assert one’s opinions and to accept the opinions of others.  Strength without belligerence is a balance I long for.