Adolescence

I recall the difficulty in understanding and accepting oneself during the years of adolescence.  The constant flow of body changes, navigating which social spaces to occupy, constantly comparing among other kids and feeling oneself coming up short on wardrobe, body appearance, financial status, family rules, whatever – all this could set off a stream of simultaneous self-doubt, sadness, glee and fury.  I feel finding oneself a difficult companion in puberty may be foreshadowing of trying to understand one’s offspring during these developmental years!  Adolescence is on my mind as I traverse it once again as a parent.

Dictionary.com defines the noun adolescence.
1.  the transitional period between puberty and adulthood in human development, extending mainly over the teen years and terminating legally when the age of majority of reached; youth
2.  the process or state of growing to maturity
3.  a period or stage of development, as of a society, preceding maturity

In many ways it feels the same.  I see a child changing into an un-kid, more a grown up looking person than a baby.  Parent and offspring now physically see eye to eye but it is merely a height issue as most other things are not so “eye to eye” at all.  I find myself wanting to go to my own room to be alone with my feelings.  Once there I stew.  Have I done something wrong to make my family member act this way?  Did I say something stupid?  Can’t everybody just try harder to get along?  It is so unfair that my time cannot be to do whatever I want with nobody telling me I have to be responsible!  I just want to yell at everybody.  I need to talk to a friend.  And let’s not forget how I long to avoid coming up short on anything – seriously, I am doing my best. 

Sound flash-back familiar? 

I see that the questions I’m sequestering myself to ask are much like my queries of twenty years ago and likely the wonderings just yesterday for my kid.  Perhaps this is a part of a continuing process or state of growing.  The definition of adolescence offers the word maturity quite a few times.  That may be what I need to ponder while I wish all this growing stuff could just be easier.

 

Adult Essence

taller skin, longer limbs, stretched to the edge of a ledge of emotion

spewing livid language lava, a new land to explore later after cooling

old school moves or new school sneakers knowing what to wear out

whimsical whiff of grown up wonderings wound with kid size dreams

friendship bracelets plait to exchange sometimes becoming too tight

slight tingle tells love sweet expansion of self-worth, daughter dating

dance moving music of maturity’s beguiling promises prior to growth

change an individual guarantee given freely of endocrine secretions

seguing transition time telling tootle-ooo to youth preparing to leave