Falsehood

The silent observer of self is powerful.  To watch (without judging) one’s actions is amazing.  I recently watched myself react strongly to something in essence small, washing dishes.  It happened while reading Thich Nhat Hanh’s The Miracle of Mindfulness in which he suggested one could wash dishes mindfully, simply for the act of washing the dishes and not for any later moment but for simply being there, doing dishes!  Luckily I was reading for a yoga weekend which offered opportunity to move toward what motivated my anger.  I realized I had attached a falsehood, a non-truth for me, to daily dish washing. 

Dictionary.com defines the noun falsehood.
1.  a false statement, lie.
2.  something false; an untrue idea, belief, etc.
3.  the act of lying or making false statements.
4.  lack of conformity  to truth or fact.

Somewhere I stored a belief that dish washing is a menial task reserved for the subservient.  Where did I learn this?  Dunno.  How long have I believed this?  Dunno.  Is it true?  Absolutely not.  Turns out, after quiet listening, I don’t believe the idea I was clinging to.  Other falsehoods I have over time discovered in myself sound like this:  Boys don’t like smart girls.  I am not naturally athletic and therefore will never find any exercise I enjoy.  Cooking a fabulous meal every night is essential for being a good mother.  A big house will make me happy.  I don’t need sleep as long as there is caffeine.  If I have eaten one cookie I might as well go ahead and eat the entire row.  When someone is yelling it means I have done something bad.

Generalizations that we ingest and make our own sneak into our lives often unnoticed.  Perhaps from personal experiences or the media.  Perhaps from unhealthy relationships or too much time alone.  My dish washing dilemma is a superficial one in terms of what else is possible, but I use it because it is fresh and a reminder that we are allowed to (in fact I think supposed to) examine our beliefs and see if any of them lack conformity to our own truth or fact.  Leonard Pitts, Jr. recently wrote an editorial for the Miami Herald that was picked up in my local paper.  He offered the axiom, “if you repeat a lie long enough, people will accept it as truth — even the people being lied about.”

What falsehood about ourselves do we accept as truth?  Some are easy to find, others challenging and often painful in the actual story unfolding of ourselves. 

            Certainty

            Finding truth is labor.  Shoveling
            what lies atop layers of life, blood
            and guts, somewhere we have it
            the source, Truth, that which slices
            paper sharp edges thin and fierce
            found at last.  Real hurts and heals,
            soft seeking  finger pads, tiny cuts
            when touched throb for attention
            sting while being washed clean
            set soul free body breathing I am.