Tomorrow is my birthday. I get to say to myself, “You were born! Hooray!
Have some apple pie (I’m planning such in lieu of cake this year).” I’m pleased at having arrived at this age in
my life. I observe it no small feat for us
humans to count each birthday in turn
as we chug and chug like Little Engines that Could through life. Think of all the collective cakes we’ve eaten
and wishes we’ve made!
Birthday is defined at dictionary.com as the anniversary of a
birth, the day of a person’s birth, a day marking or commemorating the origin
or beginning of something, and the festivities or celebration marking such a
day or anniversary.
Here’s my ultimate surprise birthday gift: my current number of forty-four life years
feels comfortable like a pair of jeans that really fits, soft after repeated washing
and wearing. Is it the actual age at
which I have arrived that creates this feeling?
Likely not as each of us travels a different path and pace, but I do
think there is something altering about crossing the four decade threshold – aside
from ads for my demographic proffering wrinkle repair, gray hair coverage,
digestive regulation, tummy control clothing, frugal family vacation spots and kid-friendly
cooking shortcuts that is.
On the eve of my birthday I reside in the fruition of
many things. High School. College.
Work. More college. Different work. Marriage.
Different work. Home
ownership. Pregnancy. Pregnancy.
Pregnancy. Motherhood. Still more different work.
While this seemingly static current time sometimes
makes me self-assert that I need some goals, I placate my ego by telling it
that there is so much value in BEING as opposed to more DOING. Although I am doing plenty, this time in my
life feels not so much like pursuing but percolating. There
is ample in motion as I tug the wagon of my experiences across the field of
each day enjoying the hum of my life engine, trusting there will be sustenance and
rest, watching the seeds of my thoughts, words, and actions sprout. I’m content to be in my spot of the world,
however plain it might be and however slow I appear in it. Some habits have settled into a comfortable
rhythm. I’m learning and unlearning. I’m embracing chaos and creating quiet. I’m striving to work gracefully.
I often ponder around my birthday this crazy, pain in the
neck, heart-stretching, heart-mending, wacky, body limited, unpredictable, love-filled,
emotional, intentional, expanding opportunity to learn: life. Do we really have any idea how awesome it is
to be born? Whatever the ups and downs,
perhaps we might all agree birth is miraculous.
When I blow out my birthday candles tomorrow I'll wish for us all to
feel the miracle.
Pleas’d look forward, pleas’d to look behind,
and count each birthday with a grateful mind.
- Alexander Pope
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